Scrumptious Saturday: Lemon Curd Edition

It does not sound scrumptious.

Curd. 

It brings to my mind cottage cheese which, while tasty, is not exactly mouthwateringly delectable.

But pair it with the word lemon...be still my heart.

Laura Purdie Salas, over at Writing The World For Kids, posted another picture prompt and invited her readers to quickly write a poem of 15 words or less.  Her penguin poem used the word lemon curd to describe the sun.  That was the end of penguin inspiration for me.

Upon Secretly Making Lemon Curd When Lemon-Loving Child Is Not Home

delectable
delicious
so luscious
so divine

luxuriously scrumptious
so sweet
so tart
so mine

ⓒ Rebekah Hoeft February 2018

Have you tried it?  It's easy to make.  Sweet. Citrusy.   Bright and cheerful.

It's a good mood in a pan.

I've made a batch or two in my lifetime.  I'm not loyal to one recipe--you can find recipes at some of my go-to tasty treat sites here, here, and here. 

Alas, I have only one lemon and two eggs in my fridge.  What's a lemon-loving lass to do?

Scour the earth for small batch lemon curd recipes, of course.

By scour, I mean Google 'small batch lemon curd' and click on the first link.

I have to go now.  Lemon curd doesn't  make itself.

Writing Contest Tip

Last year, for Susanna Leonard Hill's Valentiny contest, I wrote a story about a mom and daughter planning a special Valentine's dinner.

It was well over the 214 word limit.

Shocking, I know.

So I edited and tweaked and hacked mercilessly and got it down to the required 214 words.

I was proud.

I submitted it blithefully. Win or lose, I was content, knowing I'd written a Valentiny story that fit the requirements and told the story I wanted to tell.

But then...

...dread.

Pro amateur tip:

When writing stories for contests that have a set theme (like "write a Valentine's story") and a short word limit which requires a purging of many words (so many words), make sure you hold on to a few that, you know, fit the theme.

Like "Valentine's dinner" and "special Valentine's dessert" or "Valentine's Day  was doubly-filled with double scoops of love."   

Cheesy but effective in actually writing a Valentine's Day story.

This is what I submitted, all 214 non-Valentiny words of it. 

Surprise, Surprise!!

Mama and Heidi were done with the checkup. They both got a lollipop for being so nice to the doctor.

Mama smiled. “Let’s save these for Daddy and give them to him as a surprise with our news when he comes home.”

Heidi didn’t want to give up her lollipop, but the news was great and she loved surprising people, so she agreed.

They planned a special supper with pizzas and salads. By the time Daddy arrived, their plan was complete.

Mama and Heidi greeted Daddy at the door.

“Hi hi, Daddy, Daddy,” Heidi shouted, jumping from behind the couch, giving him two big squeezers.

“Hi, hi, sweetie, sweetie,” Mama said with a grin.

Daddy looked at them suspiciously. “How are you two?”

“Great, great,” Heidi said, hopping up and down and giggling.

Mama said, “Time for dinner dinner!”

During dinner, Mama and Heidi kept talking in their silly doubletalk. Daddy just chuckled and shook his head.

Finally, when they handed Daddy their lollipops for dessert, Daddy asked why they weren’t having ice cream as usual.

“We thought you might like a surprise from my doctor doctor,” Mama said.

Daddy stopped. He stared. He knew. He hugged them both.

“I love love you,” whispered Heidi to her new twin brothers, hugging her mama’s belly.


©2017 Rebekah Hoeft

Not an Epitaph (or, The Dog Ate It)

Michelle at TLD had a great interview last week with Jane Yolen and J. Patrick Lewis.  Yolen and Lewis have collaborated on funny books of epitaphs, most recently about prehistoric creatures. 

The authors challenged the TLD readers to write funny epitaphs and post them on the padlet.  You will find really and truly epitaph poems there, many really and truly funny.  But mine?

Oh dear.

Please notice that mine isn't really (at all in the slightest) an epitaph.  It started as an epitaph but then...I don't  know what happened.  Plus,  it takes back story for it to come close to funny and even then is not  LOL funny.  More SSAMH funny. 

"Sorta smile and maybe heh" funny.

Duh.

:)

I Mourn Three Deaths
(or, Why My Homework Isn't Here)

You won't even believe my luck.  First it was my pencil:

Untimely, true--my pencil's death.
Thinking always makes me chew.
That homework-hard! I crunched and munched;
Bit it, gnawed it right in two.

So I got a pen, but then:

My dog--an age-old tired excuse--
True.  He didn't eat my work.
Oh no, it was far worse--it's end
Came with leg lift--what a jerk.

I mopped up and started again and finished it even.  You'd be proud.  But then, on the way to school, it's a nice morning so I had the window rolled down--the air was so refreshing after staying up so late to finish.  I was feeling good.  Tired but good.  So you know I:

Was sad to see it flap and fly
Out the window, there it flew.
You want it done again by when?!
Fine.  Except...this cold...ahCHOO!

© Rebekah Hoeft February 2018

Edit:
My poem for the padlet...
Funny? Debatable. An epitaph? I think so?


An Epitaph for My Epitaph
'Tis gone too soon; you'll never quote it.
 The truth, 'tis sad: I never wrote it.

© Rebekah Hoeft February 2018

Susanna Leonard Hill's ValenTINY Contest - Grumpily Yours

It's almost Valentine's Day--time for love and hearts and flowers and cards and Susanna Leonard Hill's annual ValenTINY contest.

Story requirements?
❤ Be written for children
❤ Have a Valentine theme
❤ Contain a character who is hopeful
❤ Be no more than 214 words long

Easy-peasy.

Nope.

But fun. Give it a try. Just make sure it's in by Valentine's Day. And only 214 words. :)

Grumpily Yours
214 words

Miss Springtide chirped cheerily.  “Today we’ll create coffers of cordiality, crates of consideration…”

Crickets.  

“We’re making Valentine’s mailboxes.”

“Ohhhhhh.”  Her students smiled.  

Except Vern.

“Gross,” he grouched.  

“Utilize your superior skills to appraise the dimensions of your receptacles to ensure felicitous fits,” Miss Springtide directed.

Crickets.  

“She means measure so your paper fits,” Vern grumbled.

“Ohhhhhhh.”  They got busy, choosing cheery colors.  Vern chose grey.

“I hope no one gives me anything,” he muttered while measuring.

“I’m not giving anyone anything,” while cutting and complaining.

“Hmmph,” he groused as he glued.

All week, the class created their  cards.

Vern ignored the bustle but noticed when classmates delivered their creations.  

He grudgingly helped a few kids whose boxes were falling apart and those who forgot how to spell a word for their valentines.  

He started to hope they wouldn’t notice he hadn’t made any.

The day before Valentine’s, Vern asked Miss Springtide for paper.

“Indubitably,” she said.

On Valentine’s, the children dumped out their boxes and looked through their cards.  

The room quieted.

Vern felt his classmates’ eyes.    He looked up.  Each student held a beautiful card made with a rainbow of different-sized hearts.

“I hope you like them,” Vern said shyly, but meant “I hope you like me.”

Their smiles told him they did.

© Rebekah Hoeft February 2018

Edited:
Not a finalist but thanks for the fun, Susanna!