Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Susanna Leonard Hill's 4th Annual Valentiny Writing Contest: Eve and Mort

Eve and Mort
by Rebekah Hoeft
214 words

Eve folded, cut, and glitter glued
so many Valentines that you'd
be certain she had made enough for all

her class of twenty-eight, plus two--
a card for Mrs. Mackenrue
and one for her best friend across the hall--

but you'd be wrong, for Eve was short
by one sweet heart.  I must report
it was no accident that Mort was missed.

For he on playground three days past
had beat her in a race; aghast
she claimed, "He cheats!" and bopped Mort with her fist.

So she was sent to Mrs. Brahm
who shrilled, "Detention!," called her mom,
who picked Eve up and grounded her for life;

or so it felt to Eve:  "Not fair!"
She pouted, stomped, and vowed, "I swear
I'll never be a friend to Mortie Drife."

On Valentine's she made her move 
to show him up; with hearts she'd prove
that she was not his friend and never would

forgive him for his besting her,
for stealing "Fastest Kid," no sir,
but when she saw his card she felt no good.

It was impressive, glittered gold,
Amazingly with words in bold:
"Two kids as quick as us should be fast friends."

Guilt-ridden, in remorse Eve cried
"You won!  You didn't cheat!  I lied!"
With Valentiny hug she made amends.


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Interested in writing a 214 word Valentine's story and sharing it with all the world?  Okay, not ALL the world, but whoever wanders over from  Susanna Leonard Hill's blog?!

Here are the rules:
💗214 words--can be less but not more!
💗clearly about Valentine's Day
💗has a character who feels guilty about something (or makes someone feel guilty about something)
💗be written for children

Your story can be poetry or prose.  If you don't have a blog but want to compete for fabulous prizes you can post your story to the comment section of the blog post she posts on February 13.  Or email her.  Or don't compete and just use her prompt as a prompt.

Or don't write a thing and just go read all the teeny-tiny stories about Valentine's Day.

Thanks, Susanna, for a fun challenge!  



  

26 comments:

  1. You tackled this challenge in rhyme! How brave! I'm so happy to see that they finally became "fast friends" :)

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    1. My name isn't showing up! This Stephanie Williams :)

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    2. Also, I loved your "fast friends" comment and edited my story to include it and like that line much better now!

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  2. I agree with Stephanie, Rhyme is a difficult subject at best and you are most brave. Best Wishes!

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  3. Well done! I certainly think kids can relate to being angry about losing and wanting to punish the other child for their loss. Great rhyme and thank goodness she came clean! Good luck with the contest!

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  4. I like it! It made me laugh out loud. Good luck in the contest!

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  5. Don't you just love glitter? Glad Mort and Eve became fast friends! Good luck in the contest Rebekah!

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  6. Love you story and its unusual rhyme scheme. Sweet! Good luck!

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    1. Thank you! I stole the form from Alison Dellenbaugh after she used it in one of her Madness poems. I love the rhythm of it.

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  7. Aw so cute! I'm glad she realized she was wrong. Mortie seems sweet. Cool rhyme pattern too, I haven't seen that before.

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    1. Thank you very much! I'm a pilferer of poetry forms (see comment above) so can't take credit for any coolness. ☺

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  8. Fabulous tempo and word choices in your poem, Rebekah! So glad the two could be fast friends in the end!

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  9. What a great story. I just loved your entry!

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  10. Well done, Rebekah! Not only did you tell a very believable kid story with a nice measure of guilt, you managed it in a tricky rhyme scheme! Impressive! Loved that Mort's valentine said "Two kids as quick as us should be fast friends"! Very clever :) Thanks for joining in the Valentiny fun!

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Thank you, Susanna! I think I've said this about all of your challenges, but this was a fun one to write!

      I wish I could take credit for the fast friends line but Stephanie deserves the "clever"award!

      Thanks for stopping by and for another interesting challenge!

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  11. Great story and rhyme! I could feel the guilt oozing out of each line.

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